Fear of flying...?

Contents

introduction; CAUSES OF PHOBIAS

HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS: desensitisation

METHODOLOGY FOR DESENSITISATION

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES

THOUGHTS TO USE IN EACH SITUATION

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Intro : Causes of phobias

Fear of flying is a fear of air travel. Commercial flight has become an important, for many essential, part of life, and yet the unnaturalness of human flight continues to cause a significant proportion of the public to feel anxiety before, during, or while thinking about flying - this despite that driving in a car is statistically many times more dangerous.

As with the majority of fears or anxieties, fear of flying is caused by an unpleasant experience, for example a storm or a bumpy landing etc. . . Even so, not all those who have had such an experience develop a fear of flying. A certain predisposition is necessary in the individual for them to acquire this fear.

It is possible that the negative experience wasn´t personal , but occurred to others, as when we see an accident on television or read about it in the press, especially if a family member or close friend was on board the said plane. But even in these cases there must be a predisposition in the individual for them to suffer this phobia.

In other cases however, the fear of flying is a manifestation of a profound personal conflict in the inflicted person. In these cases there has been no negative experience related to flying. What has occurred is a “displacement”, that is to say that the origin of the fear is not the flying in itself, but another circumstance, situation or object which, for subconscious reasons has “displaced or migrated” to that of flying. This is the origin of many fears or phobias which are completely irrational and therefore inexplicable.

There are other phobias which are similar to that of flying although it is important to establish the differences:

- Fear of separation etc. . .
It is not unusual for a person to suffer one or more phobias.
Fear of flying to a greater or lesser extent is apparent in approximately 11% of the population, although the percentage is of course higher if taking into account people who feel a slight worry or concern about flying.
In our society, where planes are just another instrument at our service and whose usefulness and security in travel, no one will deny, it is fundamental to overcome this fear for obvious reasons; business or professional trips, holidays or cultural visits etc. . . However, many of those who suffer this phobia make no attempt to overcome it but instead avoid flying at all costs . . . while they are able.

Dennis Bergkamp is well known for having a fear of flying, giving rise to the nickname the non-Flying Dutchman. As such, he is often unable to participate in matches Arsenal play outside of England, However, for certain important matches, he will, if required, take a train or drive himself there. The tiring nature of such long journeys from London to Europe (and back) often means he misses domestic matches for having played in European away games.
If you are lucky enough to be a professional footballer of great renown, it may be possible for you to write a clause into your contract excusing you from matches which involve travelling to by plane, but unfortunately for the majority of us, this is not the case and we may find ourselves in a professional position one day that requires our flying and which cannot be avoided. Wouldn’t it be a shame to give up a promising career for this reason. . .

The need to fly has now imposed itself even when it comes to taking a holiday, given that in many families, frictions and problems arise in the holiday season if one of the spouses has a phobia of flying thus obliging the other to forsake air travel. It may not be as common a grounds for divorce as leaving the lid off the toothpaste, but it can lead to serious marital problems..

How to overcome your fears

But, fear of flying can be OVERCOME OR CURED.
If you wish to overcome the fear of flying it is important to be conscious of the problem and not put off confronting it and not avoiding it whenever it comes up by, for example, taking some Dutch courage. In this concrete case, the remedy can be worse than the problem as it can evolve into an alcoholic dependency, especially in those who have to travel frequently.

It is necessary therefore, to be willing to try to change, without expecting miracles to happen, and one must also be willing to spend time and energy in learning to live, that´s to say, fly without this fear.

In part, the willingness to change originates in the actual motivation for such change. The clearer and stronger the motivation, the easier the change will be.

It is important to clarify the consequences or inconveniences that fear has in our lives, e.g.

- not being able to travel for pleasure
- not advancing in our careers, etc. . .

But also, and this is very important, we must look at the advantages that come from having this phobia:

- Attracting attention or appearing “original”
- Avoiding responsibilities
- Avoiding having to visit certain people.

In many cases the advantages of not being able to fly can outweigh the disadvantages, in which case there is very little motivation for change. With relative frequency however, we are not conscious of the advantages which our fear of flying gives us.

But, as we were saying, fear of flying can be overcome. The most common method now used due to its good results is that of “systematic desensitisation” through which a person gradually becomes less sensitive to situations which provoke fear. This method can be put into practice in reality or with imagination. Doing it in real life has the disadvantage that it takes up a lot of time and cannot be organised when you feel like it or when it is convenient, in free time etc . . . Ideally a combination of both processes should be used, both real and imaginary.

Methodology for desensitisation

Systematic desensitisation works on a premise that one has learnt to react automatically and irrationally with fear to some form of stimulus, whether it be to look out of the windows of a plane, the sound of the engines or the moment that height is reached etc . . .

The objective is to relearn a response to these stimuli which doesn´t involve fear. Once the relearning has taken place, i.e. when one has experienced the frightening situation many times without having an adverse effect, then you will stop having the phobia.

Systematic desensitisation requires three things:

1) That the person knows how to relax intentionally. They can´t be relaxed and anxious at the same time. They must therefore learn to relax using techniques and exercises that they can do on there own. Most people can control immediate relaxation by imagining a pleasant scene, e.g. being on the beach, watching a sunset, listening to a piece of music that we like etc . . . It´s a good idea to always use the same scene or situation when we want to relax. There are tapes available which give instructions on how to relax which are very useful if people find it difficult to relax on their own.
2) The creation of a list of things which in practice produce anxiety and which we will call hierarchy. You must start with a situation that only provokes a mild fear or worry, in the case of flying for example, that of booking the plane ticket, and gradually work towards the real fear. As we were saying, many situations can be done in reality or in the imagination, or combining both ideas.
3) Whether by real or imaginary desensitisation, the person will work through the list systematically, situation by situation, RELAXING AFTER EACH SITUATION AND DOMINATING IT BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ONE. This is very important.
Sometimes the failure of the desensitisation method is because the person has wanted to move on too quickly and has moved on to the next level without fully dominating the previous one.

Desensitisation doesn´t consist in dominating the fear because of the reason for the fear – the person suffering this phobia has tried that a thousand times – but of letting go of a reaction and replacing that reaction with a new, corrected one. That is to say, desensitisation teaches a person to react without fear in situations which previously provoked it.

At the end of this article there is a hierarchical list of situations related to flying which most frequently produce anxiety.

Apart from desensitisation there is a series of practical pieces of advice which a person is recommended to follow and which also help to overcome fear, especially in cases where it isn´t very intense, e.g.

Read magazines about aviation, go to airports and walk around and through them, first accompanied and then alone, watch take-offs and landings, imagining at the same time that you are on board the plane, plan trips on planes, etc . . . Of course the more technical knowledge one has, the better, as this helps us to relax, as does for example knowing that pilots have to pass a medical exam every six months in order to renew their licence and that they are constantly doing courses to update their knowledge and refresh their technique. There are few professions in which the knowledge and physical well-being of the employees is as carefully checked.

It´s also important to bear this in mind as many fears of flying are based on the “lack of illusion of being in control”, we feel insecure because we don´t control the plane and we project this insecurity on the pilot. It´s a similar feeling to that experienced by the passenger seat occupant in a car.

It´s also important to read colourful and relaxing magazines during the flight as well as eating sweets, chocolates etc. . . or doing puzzles (crosswords, wordsearches) as well as having a detailed plan of what to do on arrival, i.e. motivate oneself, all this with an aim to relax. It is also important to choose a seat you will feel comfortable in – if the sound of the engines causes your phobia, then choose a seat away from them! (see seat maps)

It´s also important to learn to control your thoughts so that when invaded by negative or catastrophic ideas we can substitute them for positive ones, for example, instead of saying to ourselves “I´ll be really nervous when I get on the plane and by the time the plane takes off I´ll be on the verge of collapse,” we say “I might be tense when I board the plane but I´ll be able to control myself and relax.

What follows is the hierarchical list referred to earlier with many of the possible states or situations which one has to go through before and during a flight. Each stage has been designated a level from 1-10 showing the possible level of anxiety it can generate. This list is only a guideline and each of us can add or remove any steps felt necessary depending on whether they cause us anxiety or not.

It consists in imagining or mentally recreating the successive states as vividly as possible, always starting with the one which produces least anxiety and moving up to the one which creates most fear, not passing to the next stage until having completely dominated the previous one. This desensitisation exercise should be done several times a day, making the most of those moments when we are alone and trying to be as relaxed as possible.

It is very important to know how to relax and put this into practice each time the fear could become apparent.

The said stages are:

Relaxation techniques

Some people believe that relaxation as part of desensitisation is not as important as the continued exposition to the feared object, even when this exposition is imaginary. On many occasions people suffering from different phobias improved the same amount when they had been exposed to their fears whether or not they had done relaxation.

However as a great number of people consider relaxation to be important, not just to get over fear of flying or any other phobia but also as an exercise to reduce tension, there follow some relaxation techniques.

The important thing is to tense each muscle group in turn, maintain the tension for a few seconds and then relax. With this technique we learn little by little the difference between being tense and being relaxed, something we often don´t perceive.

Start with the feet – wiggle your toes and bend the feet – tense feet and heels as much as possible. Stay like this for four seconds then relax, letting them go completely floppy.

Move on now to your shins. Start with the left leg, tensing all you can. Hold for four seconds then release. Repeat with the right leg.

Move on to the left thigh. Repeat process. Always count slowly and breathe slowly and regularly. Repeat with the right thigh. Relax and maintain both legs floppy.

Breathe deeply. Breathe in and out rhythmically and regularly. Contract the stomach muscles and maintain for four seconds, breathe out quickly and relax.

Now repeat the process with the buttocks holding for four seconds and then relax.

Breathe deeply. From the waist down your body should be completely loose, like a rag-doll. Now let´s move on to the thorax. Contract as though trying to join the two parts of the body. Contract the upper half of the body, bending the back and hold for four. Relax and fall back into the chair.

Now try to bring your shoulders together while tensing the back – hold for four and relax, letting shoulders drop.

Breathe deeply, slowly and rhythmically.

Tense your right fist and the whole arm to the shoulder. Count to four then relax and let your shoulder drop. Stretch the fingers of your right hand, separating them and holding them as rigidly as possible. Hold for four then shake your hand and let it rest on your thigh. Repeat with left arm and hand.

Breathe deeply. Your entire body from shoulders down should now feel relaxed and heavy. Breathe in and out slowly.

Tense your facial muscles. Press lips together and scrunch eyes shut.

Then repeat but this time raise eyebrows as far as possible. Feel how the tension disappears from your face.

Now concentrate on you legs for four seconds and feel how the tension disappears. Do the same with the other parts of your body. You will feel completely relaxed.

At the same time let your imagination run away with you to a pleasant and relaxing situation. Enjoy the scene for a moment then imagine the state or situation of flying that causes anxiety for you. You should be better prepared to face it.

Thoughts to use in each situation

a) Preparation:

-There is no need to worry
-I feel fine
-I have done this well before
-What should I do exactly?
-I know I can do one of these tasks.
-It´s easier when you´ve started.
-I am going to go for it and I will do it right.
-I´ll have finished by tomorrow.
-I won´t leave any room for negative thoughts.

b) Confronting stressful situations:

-I am going to stay in control
-I will take my time, no rush
-I can do it, I am doing it
-I can do it fine on my own
-Any tension I feel is a sign to use my thoughts on confronting the fear
-I can get help if I need it
-If I don´t think about the fear I won´t feel it
-If I feel tense, I´ll breathe deeply and relax
-Making mistakes is normal.

c) Facing emotional activity:

Now I can relax! I am breathing deeply. There is an end. I will concentrate on the task. I can keep everything within manageable limits. I can always call . . . . . I am only scared because I have decided to be here. I have survived this and worse situations before now. Activity reduces fear.

d) Reinforcing success:

I made it! I did it perfectly!

e) In general:

Next time I won´t have to worry so much.
I can reduce anxiety by relaxing.
I have to tell . . . . . . . . .
It´s possible not to be scared, I just have

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